Donald Trump
Résumé
I’m so good looking. My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body. All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected. I’m so good looking. I would give myself an A+.
Experience
Recent
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2017-present
45th President of the United States of America
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2016
Won election race with 77 votes more than Clinton, yippe-kee-yay!
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2015
Became the most important Republican nominating for presidential election run
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2009
Changed my mind and became Republican again
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2005
Started Trump University with Michael Sexton and Jonathan Spitalny: no grades, certificates and other bureaucracy, but program offered courses in real estate, asset management entrepreneurship, and wealth creation. 98% students gave positive reviews while studying, however some of these ungrateful gringos filed lawsuits against Trump University after the course. I had to pay $25 million to settle that.
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2002
Acquired the former Hotel Delmonico, which was renovated and reopened in 2004 as the Trump Park Avenue. I sure do like my surname!
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2001
Completed Trump World Tower and joined the Democratic Party
Back then
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1999
Started buying golf courses. They are very cheap, I have 18 of them now in USA and abroad! Also switched to the Reform Party that year
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1997
Began a multi-building development along the Hudson River, which was named Trump Place. Me and the other investors sold our shares for $1.8 billion and that was then the biggest residential sale in the history of New York City
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1996
Acquired the Bank of Manhattan Trust Building, which was a vacant seventy-one story skyscraper on Wall Street. After an extensive renovation, the high-rise was renamed the Trump Building
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1994
Refurbished the Gulf and Western Building on Columbus Circle, turned it into a 44-story luxury property known as Trump International Hotel and Tower
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1989 - 1992
Ran a second hand airline called Trump Shuttle. What a waste of money, I had to sell it, now it is American Airlines Shuttle, btw
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1989, 1990
Learned about Tour de France and decided to hold my very own Tour de Trump. Is America not great enough for that cycling competition?
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1988
Acquired the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan for $407 million, invested $50 million to restore the building and boosted it from three-star to four-star hotel (I called it "the Mona Lisa" and sold it for a lot of cash in 1995)
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1987
Registered as a Republican
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- 2006 - Melania gained United States citizenship and gave birth to our son, Barron
- 2005 - Married her
- 1998 - Met my future third wife, Melania Knauss
- 1999 - Divorced Marla ¯_(ツ)_/¯
- 1993 - Married Marla and had a daughter, we named her Tiffany, because I like Tiffany & Company jewellery as well
- 1992 - Started affair with Marla Maples, so I had to divorce. God knows I love nice women, I love them all!
- 1984 - Birth of Eric Trump
- 1982 - Birth of Ivanka Trump
- 1977 - My first son is born. I called him Donald, of course!
- 1977 - Married Czech model Ivana Zelníčková